We’ve had a quiet few days: I’ve needed to keep things low-key so that I could mull over today’s appointment with our paediatrician. I was getting quite worried about it to be honest – I felt like all the past frustrations and confusion were building up to a head; I was dreading having all those memories and feelings drenched up and raked over; dreading both a ‘yes’ and ‘no’ answer and worst of all dreading that I wasn’t going to be believed (again).
I spilt all this out onto an HE special-needs Facebook group and had a bit of a chat with another mum and generally began to feel calmer. In fact, today I positively felt peaceful and totally ready for whatever came our way.
So today we had a 2 hour appointment with Dr Keen, who was really, really, great. She asked lots of questions and I loved the way she didn’t talk about M as if she wasn’t there. M appeared to not have a clue what was going on, what was being asked, what was being said. She also didn’t appear to have any idea or memory of the difficulties she’s been through so she wasn’t entirely helpful but she was amazingly patient throughout the 2-hour appointment. I think it was a case of information-overload to be honest, and I think I began to suffer from it towards the end as well.
After an hour and a half of questioning, Dr Keen summarised that yes, my suspicions were correct about Aspergers (but not ADD). Interestingly, she said she found it very difficult to diagnose M because we have removed her from most of the situations that make her anxious (i.e. we home educate because school was a source of great anxiety, and we now learn autonomously because of problems I had with directing M’s learning) meaning that a lot of her traits appear to have lessened because of HE! But she also had no doubt that should M return to school, those traits would reappear again. It reminded me of a post I read recently called ‘My Son Isn’t Autistic on Weekends‘.
Dr Keen went into detail about the various points that she thought showed Asperger tendencies but said that if we were at a regular NHS assessment, M probably wouldn’t get an official diagnosis because she is only borderline at the moment.
Lots of things to think about and more mulling over to do! Basically, I feel utterly satisfied with the outcome: I can now use this information to help M progress on through her education and life in general.
And as for M? She is still a sausage, Aspergers or not.